My Secrets - Nonconsequential Things You Probably Don't Know About Me

After we first got married, I had to learn to stop myself from jumping out of dark places and scaring my husband.  He didn't appreciate it.

As you leave our city library there are security sensors that beep if you didn't check a book out correctly.  I have a plan that the next time they beep when I walk through, I'm going to drop all the books in my hands and hold my hands up as though the cops are about to frisk me.

During my early elementary days I had the record at the local rollerskating rink in the limbo.  I could get as low as 1 foot 4 inches while on skates.  (No, I didn't have to bend backwards.  We just had to get under the bar without anything touching the ground but our skates.)

I accidentally had one of my babies at home.  And then for kicks, I decided to have one at home on purpose.  I don't think I'd do that again.

I have fired an M16 and gone skydiving.

I think people are the most interesting thing about this life.  People add depth and meaning.  They can also add heartache, but the good outweighs the bad and we are resilient creatures.

I suffered from postpartum depression after two of my babies.  The thing is that I didn't realize it until I started to come out of it.  For my third baby I was ready to combat it, but I didn't need to.  I didn't get the blues with my last two kiddos.  Yay!

I had a scholarship to a top pharmacy school, but turned it down.  They came back and offered me more money to go there.  Only on the hardest of hard days do I wonder if I'd be happier passing out drugs to people on the side.

Selfie in the bathroom - classic.  I can explain...
I minored in chemistry and love it.  It's a puzzle to be solved.

I used to own a dance studio.

I'm working on my sugar addiction.

I have finally reached the point that I don't feel sorry for myself for not having a sister or a daughter.  I have learned to be incredibly grateful for the four little boys that call me mom.

Yesterday, my friend told me about some serious knee problems she is having. During church she left the classroom and happened to mention she was going to the bathroom.  I followed her shortly. Just as I was hoping, there was no one else in the bathroom.  I went a couple of stalls down from her and started grunting like words can't describe.  Because my humor is on the level of a 10 year old boy, I laughed and laughed (quietly) between each LOUD grunt.  I heard my friend come out of her stall.  As she washed her hands, I flushed and came out.  We had a great laugh together.  She was quite relieved that it was me.  (Something I've learned from my brothers and my sons is that potty humor can cure a crappy day. Pun intended.  Okay, it can't really fix it, but we sure laughed hard.)  As we talked, she said she was thinking, "Under what circumstances do you have to go that badly?" And she wondered why that person couldn't tone it down a bit for the sake of others because really, who does that?  Then she wondered if everything was okay.  Is that something you offer help for?   We settled ourselves down and then walked out of the restroom and past the PTA president on our way back to class, as though nothing unusual had happened - civilized.


Dorothy said…
This! This post solidifies why I love you so much! Love it!
Dorothy said…
I'm still crying! Ha ha ha ha ha! Now I want to know who your friend in the bathroom was.
LeAnn said…
Had me giggling too. I would have loved to have a good laugh at church yesterday.
Kelly, I enjoyed catching up on your blog. After last night, I had to come see what I was missing. So funny! I love the quilt you made for your husband for Christmas.

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